by Hugh Elmore
News Editor
Nearly one month after students voted in the Student Government Association (SGA) General Elections on April 1 and 2, one presidential candidate has been disqualified, and the vote count of election results have yet to be publicly announced.
On April 1, the first day of voting, the SGA Elections Commission disqualified candidate and current Managing Editor Gilberto Sanchez for campaign violations.
In an Electoral Committee Memo dated April 1 and addressed to Dr. M. Stephen Brown, David VerMilyea, and Gaby Mendoza, the four Election Committee members cited violations of the Rules for Candidates which specify that no campaigning should occur outside campaign week.
The members of the Electoral Committee are Richard Rendon, Jesus Guillen, Elisamar Soto, and Yvette Martinez as Electoral Chairperson.
The violation consists of Sanchez passing out copies of The Bridge to several students on April 1, the first day of elections.
"Because Mr. Sanchez was well aware of the newspaper's contents and he is also running for Student Body President, this committee has interpreted his actions to be in direct violation of the Rules for Candidates and must therefore disqualify Mr. Sanchez immediately," the memo states.
The memo also asserted: "While he did not write any of the articles in the April issue of the school paper, there were a series of articles which showed obvious favoritism."
The same memo included testimonials from Dr. Michael Angulo, faculty advisor for The Bridge, and Carlos Guardiola, Editor In Chief, which claimed that Angulo and Guardiola both disapproved of Sanchez handing out the paper.
"I got suckered," Guardiola stated. "When Yvette called me about it, she led me to believe that Gilbert was passing out copies to the students while they were walking up to the voting booths."
Angulo also received a phone call at his home from Martinez complaining of the same behavior, and reiterated Guardiola's exact sentiments regarding passing out the paper near the voting booths.
But after the Electoral Committee Memo circulated, Angulo and Guardiola both felt they had been misquoted about an event they both did not witness.
Angulo subsequently wrote an internal memo to Dr. Frances Rhodes, Department Chair of English, Spanish, and Fine Arts, clarifying that he was in no position to attest to an incident that he did not witness.
Guardiola also wrote a four-page, single-spaced Official Statement to Brown, VerMilyea and Mendoza, blasting the Electoral Committee Memo and raising charges of his own.
Chief among those charges is evidence that two members of the Student Underground served on the Electoral Committee.
Interview notes taken by Guardiola for an interview on another SGA story last year document one Election Committee member admitting to being on the Student Underground.
Most recently, a professor commented that another Committee member admitted being with the Student Underground as he stood at the election tables next to the voting booths on April 1.
Guardiola added that he normally would not revoke anonymity but for the gravity of the unfairness involved. Guardiola said, "I thought they could be fair and reasonable. I was very wrong in giving [the Student Underground] the benefit of the doubt."
The Student Underground, during campaign week, had distributed flyers that questioned and ridiculed Sanchez's qualifications.
Guardiola asked Martinez why the flyers were permitted. Martinez responded that she could not control anonymous distributions of flyers.
When asked about these charges, Brown replied, "Mr. Guardiola's information is highly suspect."
Guardiola stated that he did not trust Brown's credibility, either.
Martinez initially had no comment, but when asked if she was biased as Electoral Chairperson, stated, "The electoral chairperson cannot vote according to the SGA Constitution."
However, Article IV, Section 2 of the SGA Constitution explicitly states: "The Electoral Commissioner has the power to invalidate elections and disqualify candidates for any violation of the Electoral Code."
Scott Roberts, the other presidential candidate, stated he approved of Sanchez's disqualification.
Roberts said, "It was [the Electoral Committee] decision, and there was nothing I could do to influence their decision. It seems to me Student Government went along with that decision."
Roberts also emphatically stated that The Bridge did not provide equal access to all candidates in the elections.
Guardiola responded that he has asked SGA officials many times to submit material, but they do not. "I will not assume responsibility for their own ignorance," said Guardiola. Despite the written statements of Angulo and Guardiola, Sanchez, who had filed an appeal to have his disqualification rescinded, was told by Brown that his disqualification would be upheld.
Brown stated in an interview, "I have no information that the Committee was particularly biased, against or for Gilbert or anyone who was running." Brown added that there are always allegations against this committee or any committee.
Brown added that he would like to see greater participation from voters and candidates. "The General Elections were an example of people getting involved," said Brown.
Sanchez said in a phone interview, "I wasn't campaigning at all. I'm just very sad that they decided to do this to me." Sanchez states his unpopularity with University officials involves his outspoken nature.
Sanchez is circulating a petition under SGA Constitution rules to have his disqualification placed on a student referendum.
If approved, the student body will decide if Sanchez's disqualification will be upheld.
by Hugh Elmore
News Editor
Despite the ensuing controversy, SGA General Election ballot results were not counted on April 5 as announced.
After more delays, the votes were finally counted on .
Persons present at this meeting were Margie Colon, Acting Secretary of the SGA; Gaby Mendoza, Assistant Director of Student Development; David VerMilyea, Director of Student Development; Jerry Garza, still-current SGA President; Yvette Martinez, Electoral Chairperson; Richard Rendon, Elisamar Soto, and Jesus Guillen comprising the SGA Electoral Committee; and this editor to report the results.
These results are documented as follows:
* Three hundred thirty-one (331) votes were counted.
* One voting ballot was voided because the Committee could not determine who the student had voted for.
* Four ballots were submitted as abstaining from voting in the elections; these most likely belonged to the Electoral Committee, although it could not be confirmed.
* Three hundred twenty-six (326) valid ballots were considered to determine the outcome of the General Elections.
However, after these 326 votes were counted three times, the officials involved refused to announce the results to this editor.
Yvette Martinez was repeatedly asked by this editor, "Yvette, did Gilbert get more votes than Scott?" Martinez finally answered, "Eight more."
If this statement is true and reflects official results, it would indicate that Sanchez was the winner of the SGA Presidency.
However, VerMilyea stated, before the counting of votes, that the Committee needed only to demonstrate, in light of Sanchez's disqualification, that Roberts received only one vote. With one vote, Roberts would be declared the official winner of the SGA presidential race.
Sanchez waited outside the room while the counting occurred; Roberts did not make an appearance.
Sanchez is currently circulating a petition to have his disqualification placed on a student referendum. He believes the University will attempt to dismiss him from TAMIU for vigorously asserting his student rights.
A fact-finding committee has already been named to examine complaints filed against Sanchez. This committee is comprised of David VerMilyea, Director of Student Development; Oscar Mu–oz, Director of Continuing Education; Dr. Nasser Momayezi, Department Chair of Political Science, History, and Criminal Justice; and Alejandra Diaz, SGA Club Development Chair.
The most current information is that this committee has not yet made a final determination regarding the complaints against Sanchez.
by Darlene Sanchez
"LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!" These are the magic words that bring all the cast and crew members, costume directors, and director to the finishing piece-- the play. The production of William Shakespeare's, Twelfth Night Or What You Will, takes a lot of hard work, patience, and dedication. All of the students in English 4306, in conjunction with the TAMIU Drama Club, practiced for a full semester to bring you the first Annual TAMIU Shakespeare Festival. What the audience sees is just the finishing touches of what it takes to put on a play. It takes a great deal of practice, tolerance, social skills, and cooperation in order to create the final masterpiece.
It is the first "real" practice we are having, and all us seem to be separate and incohesive. I do not feel a sense of unity, everyone is independent and our only concerns include ourselves. We are separate individuals with our own opinions to what is going on and what should go on concerning the play.
The first few week is brimming with unanswered questions and confusion. We are faced with financial dilemmas. We are skeptical because we do not know if we are going to have a stage to perform on or even have enough money to produce one. However, our ingenious director, Dr. Kratzke, figures it all out and launches the crew forward to keep this play alive.
After Spring Break, anxiety starts to build as the "big day" approaches. We are all struggling with our lines and pressuring one another to be on cue. We are no longer separate and independent individuals, we are growing dependent on one another. Each and every part of this play is critical no matter how small the part. I feel the anxieties and insecurities growing through Dr. Kratzke's efforts of encouragement. He reassures us daily and tries to keep his cool, but his constant pacing is a dead give away. I think our nerves are starting to get to his.
As a few days remain before the first performance, still we are fumbling with words at practice. There are still a few of us who have not yet learned the lines. We continue to work together as a family. Day by day, it is starting to come together, though we are still really nervous. All this talk about what costumes we're going to wear makeup, lights, props, and who will be in the audience, or will there be an audience? We were informed that the father of a cast member would be traveling from Oregon just to watch the play. It didn't ease our tensions to find out that this man had also been on Broadway as Sir Toby Belch of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, Or. What You Will.
Along with all the stress, come some good times too. We have moments of relaxation which bring us closer together and forms of more personal bonds through humorous conversations, games, and horseplay. I think this is what is making it so much easier for us through all these long, hard hours together.
Finally, it is opening night. We meet at 6:30 p.m. sharp in the staff lounge. We are preparing each other in costumes, makeup, props, lighting, and rehearsing each others lines incessantly. "My bosom is full.......... giggling and still horsing around. The cast is one big, happy family. I believe it is the consensus of this group that is making it so easy to work so hard to bring this play to fruition. We were no longer the light people, props, stage manager, we were one!
At last, 7:30 is here! The moment we have been waiting for all semester. I can hear voices in the audience growing inpatient as they wait for the play to begin. The last final touches are being made and everyone is in position. The lights dim, and silence surrounds the stage. The play begins!
On behalf of the Student Ambassadors, I would like to comment on the editorial made in the last issue of The Bridge. The Bridge's Editor, Mr. Carlos Guardiola, made some remarks without having any facts or doing any type of research to come to the truth. All that needs to be stated on this matter is that the Student Ambassadors follow a process to remove members who do not follow the Code of Ethics (Note: The Code of Ethics was unanimously approved by the organization last year). This process was followed in removing one member in the best interest of the organization. All we ask is that in the future, The Bridge or its editor follow more professionalism when reporting or commenting on issues that affect the student body.
Ed. Note: The only error of fact in my editorial was citing a car wash that was actually a plate sale. I have proof to support my statements. Your response does not provide any facts of its own.
The Rules in the A.E.C Lab are absurd! The other day I was in a hurry, to finish a paper for one of my classes. I did not know that only one printout of your work is allowed per student. The person that was handing the printouts stated very clearly and pointed out the rule to me on a poster board located on the wall. Frankly, she was very rude about it. In a loud tone of voice, she said "Only one Printout of your work per student"! I quickly responded to her that I usually do my work at home and I rarely use the Computing Services and that I was not aware of this. I apologized and proceeded to ask for my printouts of my work. She only handed me one copy of my printout and kept the second copy. At that moment I became angry and demanded my copy. She replied in a rude way to make a Xerox copy. The thing that got me more upset was that she kept my second printout. I would have understood if she had tom my paper and threw it away, but she kept my work. In my opinion, if a student makes a second copy of their work for whatever reason, the AEC Lab should give the printout to the student, not keep students' work. I still can't understand the concept of this rule because students pay their computer lab fees, which includes the cost of paper.
Tanya Patricia Golding
This is just a comment on the article with the title "Lack of Grassroots Movement is Troubling." Like Mr. Loera, I am a proud Hispanic who has lived in Laredo FOR EVER and has lived in Wisconsin. I am a Mexican American raised as a Mexican. I have also been taught that the "Raza" (as Mr. Loera calls us) is only composed of the Mexican population not all Spanish-speaking people (but that's not the point).
Mr. Loera state that he does not wish make a "pro-Mexican or pro-Raza attitude" but he DOES want for us to make a difference, unite and "resurrect the Raza." I agree that we should unite but not only amongst our race. He mentions that we should not separate ourselves because of our "regional or ethnic differences," which is true. It's not that we do it on purpose. There is more rivalry amongst ourselves than any other group.
Another "troubling" idea was that of the laws the government does or does not do "for our raza." Government can only pass or not pass laws pertaining to the whole United States not only a particular race, unless it's Affirmative Action (but that's another issue). I do not think that there is a law that affects us directly or that is made just to affect us because wouldn't that be called...... DISCRIMINATION towards everyone else or UNCONSTITUTIONAL.
The last thing that really bothered me was the word "raza." I am not saying I am ashamed of my heritage, but that word has a bad connotation; it suggests that we are from the lower, lower class. I don't mind the words Mexicans or Hispanics, but "raza" is a demeaning word that leads people to stereotype.
E.V.
by Omar Gonzalez
Has responsibility gone out of style? I ask myself this question almost every day as I read the newspaper or watch the news on television. With the way our society is taking shape, anyone can literally get away with murder. Take O.J. Simpson for instance, had he not had the millions of dollars to shift the responsibility of murdering his wife onto a ghost murderer, what do you think the chances of him becoming a human toast would have been? Or look at the gigantic 91 lawsuit that the tobacco company is battling Ôin court against "Victims" of lung cancer. I don't remember ever being forced to smoke. I did it out of my own free wi11. If I develop lung cancer, it is because I chose to smoke. A 300-pound woman filed a lawsuit against an airline for not considering her for a stewardess position because of her weight and size. I weigh 300 pounds, should I file law suits against every store in the mall for not hiring me as one of their models? I think not! It is nobody's responsibility other than mine for the way I look. Murders are being blamed on rap music. Drug abuse is being blamed on society. Ignorant students are being blamed on teachers. Where does it all end?
Our courts are being filled with fraudulent lawsuits filed by money hungry, get-rich-quick jerks that are ruining everything that our society stands for. We as a society have become law suit phobic because of all these insults to our constitution. Some of the most ridiculous accounts of these types of lawsuits range from mental anguish due to the poor lighting in prison to heart problems due to the high fat diet being served in public cafeterias for indigents. One woman filed a law suit against a newspaper because it published a photo where she along with seventeen other welfare recipients were shown waiting in line at the food stamp's office. She claims that due to that photo she and her family are being called "poor". Hello! Is that a fact or not? You can only claim welfare assistance if you fall below the state set poverty line so in essence you are poor. Another instance happened back in February when a young man's mother filed a lawsuit against a local department store for destroying her son's character while arresting him for shop lifting before the charge was proven. Just last week in conversing with a couple of teachers I found out other discrepancies with our society. Students now are not scoring anything below a fifty average. Are we developing smarter students? No! It is a law. Teachers are to give an automatic fifty to students who are flat out flunking, not attending class and are neglecting all of their home work. As if that weren't enough, a student must be "placed" on the next higher grade if they are too old to remain in the grade they are at. According to one of the teachers if an elementary student is flunked in the first grade, he may not be flunked again for the remainder of his elementary education. The responsibility of the teacher has increased from teaching and lesson planning to actually ensuring that the homework is being done and that records make the student eligible for passing regardless of the students participation in class. I remember the days where parents' conferences made the student nervous, nowadays it is the teacher that gets nervous and yelled at should a student feels the slightest discomfort in attending class. Along with this there exists the lack of responsibility of the parents. They neglect the importance of education at home for their children and expect that such is carried out in school. Teachers are simply that, teachers. They in no way should take the role of the parents. Unfortunately many principals seem to think they should.
If we keep this up, we will soon find ourselves in a society where responsibility will be a thing of the past and the cases going to court will be an ordeal to the victim and not the perpetrator. Due to the actions of our generation our posterity will be one of total irresponsibility. Consequences will be obsolete and the true victim will rather take the beating rather than face their attackers in court.
by Veronica Vasquez
Are you ready to celebrate? Are you ready to party? Aren't you glad that the semester is over? Well, no because it is not over yet. The good part is beginning, which means that review week and final exams week are here, when students and faculty get all stressed out and as a result suffer from headaches.
Dr. David Garza gave a lecture on headaches at TAMIU. He gave some recommendations and treatments on how to cure and prevent headaches. Headache experts estimate that about 90 percent of all headaches are tension headaches and 6 percent are migraines. Tension headaches are caused by muscular tension. Remember the many times that you stay up late in your computer finishing that research paper on Sunday night? All your muscular were all tensed out and that was the reason the next day you had a big headache. Migraines result from disturbance in the blood circulation to the brain. There are many other reasons why we all have headaches. For example, the people suffer from frequent headaches may be reacting to certain foods and food additives, such as wheat, chocolate, sugar, dairy products, meat, nuts and alcohol just to name a few. There are other types of headaches such as arthritis headache, caffeine headaches, cluster headaches, organic headaches, sinus, allergies headaches and vascular headaches.
A recommendation that doctors give out to prevent headaches is to eat a wellbalanced diet. This means avoid too much chocolate, sugar, ice cream, chewing gum, salt, and. excessive sunlight. Another recommendation to prevent them is to practice deep-breathing exercises. A lack of oxygen can cause headaches. If you suffer from headaches practice acupressure. Acupressure has been useful in relieving tigger points that contribute to the tension and muscle contraction headaches. Also you can apply hot or cold packs in your head, neck and shoulders depending on the kind of headache you have. Hot packs at the back of the head, neck and shoulders of tension headaches. Ice packs on the back of the head and neck for migraines. Ice packs on the forehead for sinus or allergies headaches.
If you suffer from any types of headaches go see your doctor because headaches that occur often may be a sign of an underlying health problem. Remember eat well, exercise, have plenty of sleep and rest so you can do great in your final exams. I don't think you want to have a headache when you are studying for your finals or during your finals much less after them when celebrating that the semester is over.
by Cordelia Alvarado
The Small Business Administration, together with the Laredo Development Foundation and Texas A&M International University, recently announced the grand opening of a Small Business Development Center Satellite Office located at TAMIU's Pellegrino Hall Rm #312-B to assist the promotion of businesses in our community.
The Small Business Development Center (SBDC) is the largest management and technical assistance programs serving the small business community in the United States. Each SBDC subcontracts with other universities, community colleges, chambers of commerce and other entities to provide a network of over 700 full service assistance centers in business communities.
Laredo SBDC operates as a subcenter of the South Texas Border Small Business Development Center funded by the U. S. Small Business Administration and the Laredo Development Foundation. The SBDC helps small businesses get started and expand through a variety of programs. Their services generally include three areas: Counseling, Training, and Information. In addition to providing programs in three basic areas, the SBDC provides one-on-one business counseling in: New Start-Up Business, Accounting, Finance, Marketing, and Operations.
Any small business owner or potential owner is eligible for management and technical assistance from the SBDC. Business assistance is provided at no charge. However, a registration fee is normally for seminars and workshops. For further information, contact David E. Puig at the SBDC, 616 Leal St., Laredo, TX 78041, at phone (210) 722-0563, fax (210) 722-6247.
by Carlos A. Guardiola
Editor-In-Chief
A truism has surfaced in the minds of many students who will be graduating this May 10: a bachelor's degree is not what it used to be.
What I mean by that depends, in part, on the perspective a person wishes to adopt. Many educators and students will emphasize that a college degree has intrinsic value. The education a student received, the resultant manner in which one evaluates information, will now pass through this prism of raised, intelligent awareness.
For the pragmatist, however, the bottom-line sentiment will echo the words of Cuba Gooding, Jr: "Show me the money!" Truth be told, after the cap and gown are discarded and the diploma is displayed on the living room or office wall, that pragmatist faces a rude awakening. There will be many pragmatists lining up in the new gym this May 10.
I walked past many bulletin boards in various buildings on campus recently and saw one flyer that caught my eye. It detailed average annual salaries for educational degrees that left me silently stunned. The figures were printed as follows:
Professional ........ $ 74,560
Doctoral ............. $ 54,904
Masters .............. $ 40,368
Bachelors ........... $ 32,629
Associates .......... $ 24,398
I do not know where this sun-dappled forest of largesse lies, but persons who plan to stay in Laredo with their degrees should ignore these claims.
Many students' choices regarding the type of degree they decided to pursue depends on the potetial income in the field. Money is not everything, but there is no escaping the cold fact that one's income determines status, neighborhood, car, and level of support for the family. Forget about altruism: if these things are not important to students now, they will be once they graduate.
An education is an investment of money, effort and spirit. The reward with this approach is the ability to pose questions and process the responses with intelligence and reason.
But, like most students, I didn't start out with these high-sounding goals. I went to college simply to get a better job. When I graduated from high school, I hated the idea of college; I thought it was a place where preppies hung out to have fun and avoid honest labor.
Allan Bloom, in his book The Closing of the American Mind, wrote, "The university now offers no distinctive visage to the young person...In short, there is no vision, nor is there a set of competing visions, of what an educated human being is...Simply, the university is not distinctive."
Indeed, universities and high school counselors, at the behest of a corporatized educational mission, are now largely responsible for selling the college experience in terms of income potential. Those flyers I saw are such an example.
There is more to getting a job than the degree. These factors include finding a promising geographic location; tracking job leads; refining job interview skills; and, yes, even knowing someone on the inside.
A bachelor's degree merely homogenizes one's socialization; it provides credentials as a means of access, but it is not access in and of itself; and, at a heuristic level, it announces to the world, "Here I am, willing to submit to standards and rules set by someone else." That's what most employers really want to know: how pliant are you?
So the credentialization of a degree, in effect, cheapens its purpose, even if, as Bloom noted in his book, no one today really notices the universities' schizophrenic sense of mission. Will it be utilitarian or altruistic? Will we opt for the affective domain, or the effective one?
Not all students will define success in terms of money. These people have made other accomodations with life that exclude materialism. But I feel that a person's leaning toward benevolence is directly proportional to their personal comfort; comfort, in turn, is most often dictated by personal wealth. Like justice and health care, people can only enjoy as much altruism as they can afford.
If I can't pay my light bill, I am certainly not going to stand around waxing rhapsodic about the unexamined life.
Unfortunately, the conditions of getting a good job today are more market-driven than ever; my predecessor, Tim Kennedy, recently observed, "Hell, pretty soon you'll need a bachelor's to work at McDonalds."
This is a harsh reality adjustment for the single mother juggling two jobs to pay for day care and college tuition: to get a degree that qualifies her to put mustard on a sesame-seed bun.
Colleges and universities must focus on quality, not quantity. Produce the best minds and let these minds alter the market-driven equation. Quit telling us that we're going to make all this money, because we know it's just not that simple.
Promoting income over intellect only leads the student down a path that is ultimately unrewarding in some pragmatic or spiritual aspect. The students must not buy into this con game; it only sets them up to lose.
by Sheila Kirkendall
Dead week - it is not a week dedicated to remembering the dead. It is a term used to refer to the break between the last day of class and the first day of finals. After four months of book cracking, mind wrenching classes students are on edge due to the anxiety of upcoming finals. This break is a much need rest for many students. In an effort to help students prepare and re-group for final exams, several colleges have implemented "dead weeks." Texas A&M at College Station gives there students one day to rest before they begin exams. Students at Texas A&M at Kingsville are given a week to study. Being that we are also part of the Texas A&M system, I feel that we should be given the same opportunity as they are. Granted, we are a young college still in the growing stages; but our classes are just as strenuous as other colleges. TAMIU students are prone to preexam stress just like anywhere else. The vast majority of the student population are older, working students. Aside from school they have jobs and/or families to worry about. I know it is up to the student to be prepared for their final examinations. However, the school should do its part to help relieve some of the stress and anxiety felt by many students. We are not given a reasonable period to study from the last class lesson. Many instructors give comprehensive final exams, which cover a lot of material. One day is not adequate time to be able to thoroughly review and study the required material. Texas A&M International should consider implementing a week such as this into the semester schedule. Students need a rest after the hectic semester. Dead week allows the students to relax and gives them a chance to do their very best.
by Arturo Sanchez
Have you all noticed that more students have been staying on campus throughout the day? In addition, the number of student organizations have more than tripled over the last year. Also, we have doubled in our number of buildings since last fall. Just in time to complement all of this growth, the Student Village will be open for the start of Fall Ô97.
For many, it may be difficult to imagine what TAMIU will be like once the University Village opens; however, I have lived on campus before and would like to share some of my experiences. Many universities strongly encourage freshman and transfer students to live on campus because of the many benefits every student receives. In the dorms I was able to get help on assignments, a countless number of times. It was also much easier to form study groups, wake up only 10 minutes before class --and still make it on time, and form friendships that will last a lifetime. The University Village will be much nicer than the 25 year old dorm I lived in; however, the traditions and benefits of student life remain constant.
I will never forget, living away from home was a real break from my parents. To this day it!
Once you decide that living on campus is the best thing for you, I'm sure the University Village Staff will help you do everything but the packing. When you move in, the swimming pool will be ready, the volleyball net will be up, the Staff will greet you in the Community Center, and help you get off to a great start. Something I can not say you will enjoy is doing your own laundry, but at least there will be plenty of washers and dryers just a few steps away.
By: Cordelia Alvarado
The conversation was sparkling. The music was great and the dinner was excellent. The date would've been perfect except for the sex .... it was against your will. Sex 'against your will' is called 'acquaintance' or 'date' rape because it is 'rape' by someone you know. Statistics indicate that at least one-third of all reported rape victims know their attacker. Now, its difficult to imagine someone familiar as a rapist. However, being forced into having sex is still rape whether its by a stranger, family member, boyfriend, or friend.
Women who are raped are often reluctant to report the crime to the police, for fear of embarrassment and shame. It is important for you to know that "NOTHING you do, say, or wear gives anyone the right to assault you - sexually or otherwise."
Acquaintance rapists use psychological pressures, such as the "guilt trip", and physical force to coerce you into having sex. In doing so, they attempt to make their partner feel guilty because of the their unwillingness to engage in a sexual relation. Disgruntled partners may constantly compare their relationship to that of their sexually active friends , thus finding their sex life 'unsatisfactory', hence, leading them to commit rape.
The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) provide some guidelines to protect yourself-
1. When you first date someone you don't know well, check them out with friends.
Plan to meet someplace where there are other people - a restaurant, a movie,
a mall - or go with a group of friends.
2. Be prepared to find your own transportation home. Carry change for a phone
call to your parents or a friend and enough cash for a taxi.
3 . DON'T get drunk or stoned! Remember drugs and alcohol decrease your ability
to take care of yourself and make sensible decisions.
4. Clearly and firmly, let your date know your limits before you get into
a situation you can't control.
5. Don't leave a public place with someone you just met.
6. Trust your instincts! If you think something's not quite right or you
feel uneasy, get to where there are other people or tell your date to leave
- NOW! Be assertive. Say NO firmly, even if he tries to make you feel guilty,
unpopular, or babyish. If that doesn't work, be rude!
7. Make noise. Talk loudly, irritate him, scream, honk the car's horn.
8. Turn them off by acting crazy, say you have a sexually transmitted disease,
threaten to throw up; etc.
9. Try to get away, resort to physical resistance - a swift jab to the throat
or eyes or a solid kick in the knees or groin.
10. Call for help. Call 91 1.
by Jose Fidel Hernandez Jr.
Now that TAMIU has its new Kinesiology Convocation Center with its magnificent gym, there is only one question left to be asked. When can we use it?
The new Kinesiology Convocation Building was recently dedicated on February 21, 1997 after the completion of Phase 11. The building itself is an enormous structure that measures 55,682 square feet, and is found next to the Physical Plant Building.
Now the question. When can we use the gym? After speaking with M. Stephen Brown, Ed.D. Dean of Student Affairs, I got a clear understanding of what is going on with the structure. Dr. Brown let me know that the building is already the home to the SGA, the offices of Student Development, and a center for clubs on Campus. He also told me that the Ballet Folklorico will start to have its practices in the second floor of the building. The Kinesiology Convocation Center will also be the "center of student life" while the new student union center is built.
The month of April will be a busy one for the new building as there are several events scheduled at the new Convocation Center. One of which was the Dusty Swirl Dance held April 5, 1997. On April 15, 1997, there is also going to be a career fair with around 100 agencies taking part in the event. The month of May is also going to be a busy one for gym as it will be hosting its first commencement exercises.
Dr. Brown let me know that the gym needs equipment and there are plans in the next month or so to start ordering sports equipment for the gym and for the weight room along with a foldable stage to be used in the gym. He also informed me that the facility needs staff and that there is a committee in place looking into the hiring of staff to work with the taking care of the facility and its equipment.
Dr. Brown let me know that for the fall there are plans for intramural activities ranging from basketball to volleyball for the students at TAMIU. Recreational activities are important to the college student says Dr. Brown as it adds to the "university's identity."
The campus at TAMIU is a forever growing one as it continues to grow every day we arrive on campus. The building of the new Kinesiology Convocation Center is a great way to enhance the university's appeal that has nowhere to go but up with the emergence of this state-of-the-art facility that is waiting to open its doors to the TAMIU students and of course the bounce of the first ball on its basketball court.
By Jose Fidel Hernandez Jr.
The Rio Grande is a river that has been neglected for quite a while by both the United States and Mexico. However due to the effort of organizations such as The Rio Grande International Studies Center better days await the river as the main interest of the organization is the river..
The Rio Grande International Study Center is a non profit organization established in Feb. 26, 1994. The center is located on 50 acres of land at the Laredo Community College campus. According to Dr. Tom Vaughan, the organization was created to improve the water quality of the Rio Grande by three specific methods: The first of which is by research the river. The second is the educating of the public from the elementary student on up to our local councilmen. The third method is by Bi-National cooperation as there is also a sister organization in Nuevo Laredo called there Centro International del Estado del Rio Bravo committed to cleaning up the Rio Grande.
The center also has exhibits of mounted animals donated by Bob Mead a local taxidermist and vegetation native to the area. The animals are also presented in picturesque scenes that were painted by Joanie Chapman, a member of the Ameri-corps organization that worked on the construction of the buildings, Also at the center, there is a 200 gallon aquarium with carp, catfish, and other local fish. In the outside area there is a just completed pond that also has some fish and turtles.
A nature trail is also in the works, as it will be an integral aspect of the center. Along with the trail, Dr. Vaughan says that the organization plans on restoring the area to the way it once was. This calls for the removal of the many grasses such as Buffle Grass that have taken over the area, and replacing them with vegetation that was once native to the territory.
Dr, Vaughan says that major plans are in the future as the center plans on constructing several more ponds that will be the home to many fish, turtles, and even alligator gars. Plans also include the connection of the ponds with each other through a series of streams that will circulate the water. Also planned is the construction of an aquarium that will hold fish from the northern part of the river all the way to where it reaches the gulf in the south.
The Rio Grande International Study Center, an organization looking out for the welfare of the area was also created for another specific reason says Dr. Vaughan, and this is to give people in Laredo something to as the study center is always in need of volunteers. So those interested in the Rio Grande as we all should be contact The Rio Grande Study Center or Dr. Tom Vaughan as they will be extremely glad you called.
by Sandra Hernandez
Nelda Lawson
The School of Nursing which has its new name as the FM. Canseco School of Nursing has just been recommended by the National League of Nursing to receive five years accreditation. The National League for Nursing (NLN) is the most important accrediting agency in the nation for nursing programs.
On March 25-28 , the School of Nursing was evaluated by the NLN visitors, Dr. Sheila Green and Dr. Veta Massey. The same day the NLN visitors arrived, the FM. Canseco Hall was formally being dedicated. During those three days, the representatives of the NLN met with some of the administrative officers of TAMIU: Dr. Charles Jennet, Dr. Larry Boyd, Dr. Stephen M. Brown, Mrs. Barbara Lunce and others. They attended classes of the School of Nursing and met with the students. They also visited local agencies and facilities which included Pueblo Nuevo, Colonia San Carlos, and Mercy Regional Medical Center.
Accreditation provides for the maintenance and enhancement of educational quality, program improvement, and contributes to the accountability of nursing for the public good. The accreditation process took a lot of dedication and effort from the faculty and staff from the School of Nursing. A Self - Study Report of 200 pages was written, to be used by the program evaluators and the Accrediting Commission as one of the primary documents in the evaluation of the nursing program. Many other important documents had to be processed during the visit, too. The NLN accreditation visit was to clarify, verify, and amplify the program materials in the Self - Study Report.
After scrutinizing the School of Nursing and reading every word of every document that relates to the program and asking probing questions for three long days and nights, the NLN visitors left with many compliments on the program, the university and our community. At the end of the visit, the FM. Canseco School of Nursing was given the evaluation results with the recommendation to the Accrediting Commission that they be granted five years' accreditation, the most that can be given to a new program.
The School of Nursing consisting of fifty students is well deserving of its success for their hard and tireless job. During the first three years of its existence, the Canseco School of Nursing has accomplished two important goals, accreditation of five years and thirteen nursing students graduating in May.
by Hugh Elmore
Are you exempt from taking English 3301 English for Professions? Think again. Beginning August 9. the English Department's 1301 Exit Exam will disappear, and every student at TAMIU will be required to take and pass English 3301 except those who have already passed the class, the exemption exam, or Engl. 1301 at TAMIU and the English Department's Exit Exam. Though the new policy is important to new students, it should only affect a small part of the current student body Ñ those students who have not taken Engl. 1301 at TAMIU and have not yet passed Engl. 3301 or the exemption exam.
In response to controversy and questions regarding TAMIU's policy of requiring transfer students who did not take English 1301 at TAMIU to take English 3301, the policy has been changed to require all students beginning their junior years to take the class or pass an exemption exam, known as the Rising Junior Exam. This exam, taken at the junior level, replaces the Exit Exam administered to all freshmen finishing Engl. 1301. Also, all students passing Engl. 3301 must also pass the exam at the end of the semester.
The new exam, called the Rising Junior Exam, will be administered during the final exam period of every semester that Engl. 3301 is offered. It will be free of charge. The exam will also be offered on LCC's campus at the same times it is offered here. LCC students must have applied and been accepted to TAMIU and the appropriate offices must have all the appropriate information on file to qualify for the exam.
The old policy does not differ dramatically from the new policy. Through the end of this Summer all Junior students who did not take Engl. 1301 at TAMIU are required to take Engl. 3301 or pass the an exemption exam. Slightly less well known is that all students completing Engl. 1301 at TAMIU must pass a departmental exam very similar in substance to the exemption exam.
The exemption exam, as it stands today, is composed of two parts: the first is the Test of Standard Written English (TSWE for short), and the second is an essay. In order to pass, a student must score: 52 or greater on the TSWE, in which case the essay is not scored; or 31-51, in which case passage is determined by a committee that grades the student's essay. In this respect the exemption exam is easier to pass than the departmental exam administered to all freshmen students here at TAMIU; this exam consists only of a written essay graded by the same committee.
The new policy ends the required submission by a student of a portfolio to be graded at the end of Engl. 3301, as well as the passage of the Exit Exam, and instead substitutes the Rising Junior Exam. This exam consists of an essay graded by the same committee as before. One new addition is that the exam will include a literary topic in the list of three writing prompts.
Students who have attempted the exam or who have previously failed Engl. 3301, excepting those who did so five or more years ago, are not eligible to take the exam for exemption.
An exemption exam was administered at TAMIU March 22. Of the 195 students who registered to take the exam, 92 actually did. Of these, 27% scored 52 or higher, exempting them without the necessity of grading their essays; 66% scored between 31 and 51, and of these 48% passed the essay portion exempting them from the class; 7% scored between 20 and 30, failing the exam. Overall, 59% of students tested passed the exemption exam.
by Cordelia Alvarado
And the TAMIU "Most Useful" word of the Year for 1997 is: "Whatever!
Dr. Kati Pletsch de Garcia's American Dialects class recently conducted a survey of the most widely used words or phrases spoken on the university campus. The survey was administered to 248 students in an effort to compare words or phrases that are popular within the English, Spanish, and Tex- Mex languages widely used in this area. The categories and word nominees were determined by the students of the American Dialects class. The winners in their respective categories are as follows:
Categories:
Most Unnecessary:"pos-thank you"; receiving 27% of vote.
Runner up: "he-Ilooo?" with 21%
Most Outrageous:"Not!"; with 34% of vote.
Runner up: "bato/vato" with 26%
Most Likely to Succeed:"e-mail"; receiving 38% of vote. Runner up: "nombre!"
with24%
Most Original:"Hala! / a-la!"; with 29% of vote.
Runner up: "as if..; o sea..." with 19% of votes
The American Dialects class modeled their survey from a nationwide study of the most widely used Ôwords of the year'. The unanimous decision, according to the American Dialect Society was the word "Mom," as in "soccer mom," "minivan mom," etc.
by Hugh Elmore
Do you know which club on campus has the coolest shirt? You do if you attended the student organizations award ceremony.
TAMIU recently hosted its second annual student organizations awards, providing food and drinks for those attending. Awards were given for: coolest shirt, outstanding community service, outstanding sponsor, freshmen excellence, most active organization, and leader of the year.
International Business Association was the big winner this year, claiming the Outstanding Community Service, Most Active Organization, and the Coolest Shirt awards.
SGA was the club to win the next greatest number of awards. Victor Villarreal of SGA won the Freshmen Excellence Award and David Vermilyea, sponsor of SGA won the Outstanding Sponsor Award.
Rosa Escobedo of the Student Accounting Society was named Leader of the Year.
The Bridge congratulates all TAMIU clubs for their success throughout the year.
by Cordelia Alvarado
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, some Business professors won't be coming back this Fall? Business students are in for a surprise this coming Fall semester. The College of Business Administration (COBA) will unfortunately be experiencing unnecessary downsizing of faculty staff. Rumors are circulating the university campus that a couple of professors are resigning from the university because they are unsatisfied with their students' academic performance. Some faculty members, names withheld, have been implying that many disgruntled professors are leaving because they are "Fed up with TAMIU bureaucratic politics." Apparently professors are uncomfortable with the decisions being made by the Dean of COBA concerning the expansion of available business courses at TAMIU. Several proposals addressed by the professors to expand the College of Business Administration have been declined by the Dean of COBA. In addition, rumors are similarly being circulated that professors' salaries are not competitive enough, so they are pursuing opportunities elsewhere. According to the Dean of COBA, Dr. Fatemi, only four faculty members have officially resigned due to personal reasons, unrelated to the academic performance of students.
Dr. Fatemi similarly stated that it is "typical for professors to change university campuses after a number of years of service, to further expand their professional interests. It is understandable that after the stability the College of Business Administration has had since the university opened, that the resignation of business professors would stir rumors causing anxiety amongst students." He further stated that "students do not have anything to worry about . . . any changes to the College of Business Administration are in the best interest of the students." So all the king's horses and all the king's men, could not bring the business professors to TAMIU again .......
by Nora E. Rangel
Have you ever wished you would shrink or disappear for an instant? Well, you are not alone. Many students have gone through their most embarrassing moments and survived to tell it as a joke. Read on and experience the emotions of each student's most embarrassing moments.
Appearing Mustache
As I was listening to the professor lecture, I began clicking the bottom
of my pen with my thumb. I later switch the clicking using my upper lip.
I was concentrating on the lecture that I never realized that I was scribbling
my upper lip creating a mustache. I heard giggling from some students sitting
next to me but I didn't pay much attention. I turned to see what all the
giggling was about, but as I looked directly into the student's faces, the
giggling turned into laughter. I didn't pay much attention and continued
clicking the pen while listening to the lecture. Then my friend who was sitting
next to me told me to look at her and she began laughing too. I was still
puzzled at all the commotion. She took out her compact mirror and told me
to look into it. I felt so embarrassed to see my upper lip scribbled with
blue ink. I had a blue mustache!! I never had realized I was clicking the
pen with the point. I quickly covered the lowered part of my face and went
to the restroom to wash it off. I felt so embarrassed that I waited for class
to be over before I returned to get my things.
Flying Rice
I was eating enchiladas with rice and beans at the cafeteria with my
friends. We were looking at some cute guys that were sitting by a table next
to us. My friends began to tell jokes. One of the jokes was so funny, that
I quickly chewed and swallowed my food before I would choke but I couldn't
help it, and I began to cough. As I was getting a napkin to cover my mouth,
some of the rice had already flown out and I was mortified to see that the
rice was decorating one of the cute guy's leather jacket. I froze and didn't
know what to do. My friends began to giggle and after the guys left, we laughed
hysterically.
Rolled Up Skirt
In one of my classes, the professor had advised us that if we had three
tardies they would count as one absence, and one absence would result in
a lowered letter grade. I already had two tardies and couldn't afford the
third one. I still recall the day I was running late, again, and I suddenly
felt the urge of going to the ladies room. I decided to leave my books in
the room and run quickly to the restroom. I hurried as much as possible and
since I was wearing a skirt it was much easier. I washed my hands and walked
to class. As I was passing by a group of girls, standing in the hall, I could
hear them moan and giggle. I checked to see if I had toilet paper under my
shoes but as I was checking, one of the girls told me that my skirt was rolled
up from the back. I checked and felt like disappearing from earth for that
moment. I had my skirt rolled inside my pantyhose and was displaying everything.
I'll never forget the most humiliating day in my life and as a result I have
stopped arriving late to class.
Too Much Gas
I was sitting with some students at a table that is located at the corner
of my classroom. I had eaten a bean taco early that morning. I guess the
beans created me gas. I was hoping my teacher-aide would come quickly because
I felt I needed to go to the restroom. The students were sitting quietly
doing their work when all of a sudden a silencer (a fart with no sound) came
out of me. I didn't know what to do. I continued with my paper work and couldn't
resist laughing to hear the students sniffing and blaming each other for
the incident. I told them to quit commenting and to finish their work. I
quickly got the air freshener and sprayed the room hoping an adult would
not walk in. I guess luck was with me. As for the taco beans, I'll never
eat one in the morning again.
by Javier M. Valenciano, Jr.
Hot Spots: Superstar, Every Day Is A Winding Road, and Ordinary Morning
Sheryl Crow's latest release is a breath of fresh air to music fans who are growing weary with the current trends in music. Music is becoming so electronic and impersonal. This new release goes back to the great sound of a beat up guitar and a voice that sings from the soul.
The music on this album sounds raw and is full of energy; it relies on the quality of the songs instead of fancy recording studio tricks. The lyrical subject matter deals with everything from one night stands to justice and gun control. The instrumentation in the music is a great change from electronic dance, techno, and industrial music.
Crow shows that she can be both soulful and sweet. On her debut album she gained a reputation for being a sweet and tender singer with releases like "All I Wanna Do" and "Strong Enough." This time around she shows the sultry side that emanates from within her soul. Her songs like "If It Makes You Happy" and "Ordinary Morning" drip with soul and emotion. The other musicians also perform well. The rhythm section is tight and funky. The bass lines just lay down a great grove. The guitar work is great. Superstar is a great showcase for the rhythm section on this album
This album has personality. It brings back the musician that has been lost behind the technology of several other new releases. If you want a change from the music that is becoming commonplace on our airwaves, this album is for you.
by Carlos A. Guardiola
Editor-In-Chief
Every once in a blue moon, a literary work of remarkable originality appears. Don DeLillo is one such author who has provided the material this time.
His book, Libra, is a fictional account of the events and conspiracies surrounding the JFK assassination. The author's voice and style bring a gifted subtlety to the story.
Using a sparse, elliptical narrative, DeLillo is a master of the adage, "Less is more." Instead of attempting to catalogue the near-encyclopedic bits of evidence surrounding any JFK conspiracy theory, DeLillo weaves a basic misguided plan into deep character impressions that leave the reader in silent wonderment.
The book, on a certain level, is disturbing because it offers no clear-cut hero, only a compendium of frail human ambiguities. The main character is Lee Harvey Oswald, an anti-hero and fall guy for CIA henchmen who want to stage an attempt on the President's life and make it look like Castro's doing.
DeLillo's strength is the detached sympathy he uses to sketch Oswald, who comes away not as a crazed madman, but an anti-hero with oddly moving self-expectations, manipulated by almost everyone he meets.
The reader follows Oswald from his early boyhood days in New York to his stint in the Marines, and vividly recounts his defection to Moscow and marriage to Marina.
Also featured are T.J. Mackey as the veteran CIA soldier, a Cuban exile named Ramon Benitez as the actual Dealey Plaza triggerman, and Nicholas Branch as the third-person, present-day narrator, hired by the CIA to write the secret history of the JFK assassination. In a sense, Branch is DeLillo's alter ego expressed in the narrative.
Some famous, or infamous, characters also make appearances in this work of fiction: U-2 pilot Gary Powers, nightclub owner Jack Ruby, and even John F. Kennedy himself in the moments before his murder.
DeLillo is a National Book Award winner for a previous novel titled White Noise; Libra is his ninth book.
For those readers who have grown weary of reading the much-touted, fact-based accounts on both sides, from Mark Lane's Rush to Judgement and Plausible Denial, to Bonar Menninger's astute and highly technical Mortal Error, to Gerald Posner's overanxiously conclusive Case Closed, Libra provides a good fictive escape.
Libra (HC), Viking Penguin Inc., 1988 publication; no price information on cover.
by Pete Navarro
Critic with a Badge
The other day, I got home early and turned on the tube. I coasted to MTV, and what do I find?
A game show.
Give me a break. What's a game show doing on MTV?
The whole thing must be a sign that the system is breaking down. The folks at MTV don't realize that the only thing game shows lead to is groping the female models, a la Bob Barker.
I remember the days when MTV was pure music videos. I mean a steady stream. You could turn it on any hour, and the videos were playing. At the top of each hour, a VJ voiceover told you which groups would be shown next. That was the whole system, nothing fancy or complicated.
Today? There's MTV News, Liquid Television, House of Style, Yo! MTV Raps, Singled Out, and on and on and on. What gives? What made those MTV morons turn to specialized programming?
It was set up so well back then, it was pure genius because it was so simple. Like a bag of potato chips. Get home, open the bag, get as many as you want, and walk away.
Now you have to stay up late, about 11 p.m., to watch Alternative Nation. That really sucks.
For those who got bored and tuned out, oh, let's say years ago, Alternative Nation is the closest MTV comes to nowadays to the way things used to be. You just don't see struggling bands on prime time anymore; instead, you see Madonna emoting about why Argentina shouldn't cry for her.
In the good old days, the programming worked around your schedule, and the little-known bands got to be household names. Everyone had a decent shot at their fifteen minutes of fame. If it wasn't for early MTV, I wouldn't have even bought singles by Ronnie James Dio or Bow Wow Wow or Haircut 100, you know?
Back then, the VJs were also kinder, gentler folk. I had a big crush on Martha Quinn, along with every guy at school. I remember I even broke up with a girl because she thought Alan Hunter was cuter than me. Go figure.
The first sign I had that MTV was freaking out was when they started doing Dial MTV, where you called in your favorite videos and they played them. But nobody was requesting little-known bands anymore. Pure chance? Get real. You just don't keep requesting Poison or Ratt every day, unless you are seriously depraved.
But by then, the mess had kicked into high gear: Remote Control, Rockumentary, Club MTV, and even, God help us, MTV News.
I really yearn to see that intro clip one more time, that Apollo rocket launching up, and the familiar guitar riff announcing a new hour of MTV videos. Today, I watch the MTV logo in Claymation popping out of some bald guy's head. What's that about?
Pop quiz: what's the first video MTV ever played? If you were breaking out of puberty during the 80s, you know this one. "Video Killed The Radio Star" by The Buggles; too bad MTV killed the concept itself after a short, promising run.
I must not like the 90s much, since I keep using this column to bitch and moan about the way things used to be. But I never thought I'd be sitting here and muttering, "I no longer want my MTV."
Pretty sad. I think I'll go light a candle in fond memory of Nina Blackwood's old hairstyle.
a compilation of observations, comments, and sarcasm from the daily
experiences of life
By: Lara A. Mardiros
Features Editor
A chocolate lover's opinion
People who go to Baskin Robins and order Sherbert or Vanilla disgust me.
The reason why they have 31 flavors is to have more chocolate flavors! People
who are not serious about ice cream should satisfy their meager cravings
at Maverick and leave Baskin Robins for the rest of us!
As a food critic
For those who have eaten Cavatini at Pizza Hut, I have only one question.
What's the deal with over processed meat pellets?
For the baking impaired
Betty Crocker has e-mail! BettyCrocker@CIS.CompuServe.com Who doesn't?
I though about it and I can't figure out why anyone would want to e-mail
Betty Crocker.
Easy listening
The life-size Ken doll, John Tesh, opts for a career as a pianist
rather than an anchor for Entertainment Tonight. My advice- go back while
you still can!
Philosophy in a bottle
To market his fragrance, Calvin Klein is pushing commercials with
lines like "To be or not to be. Just be." Am I supposed to get inspired by
Calvin Klein's cheap attempt to be philosophical? Should I take a heroin
addict look-a-like with greasy hair, trashy clothes, and unshaven face seriously?
Thumbs-up to Boston Markets for their criticism on Klein's ads. The beginning
of their commercial mimics Calvin Klein's; sick- looking models are plastered
against walls and on the floor, immovable and weakened by their anorexia.
When the models try and slur out some half intelligent statement about a
'burning' inside, the Boston Markets' spokesman says it is called hunger.
Bravo!
Annual waste of money
Ashamed about Laredo lately? No? I have four words for you-Pocahontas
and Martha Washington. Just in case you forget how thousands of dollars are
wasted every year, just gaze at the cover of a new phone book.
When work revolves around death, leisure revolves around death
Dr. Kevorkian not only "assists" his customers with suicide, he paints!
Imagine that. Although his death paintings are not for sale, he has received
offers. What kind of morbid people would want to buy Dr. Kevorkian's paintings?
Maybe the painting would be like a business card, a call-me-if-you-need-me
reminder.
Tackiest Picks
"My Boo" by Ghost town D.J.'s
Star Wars Disco
"Mouth" by Merril Bainbridge
"Come On and Ride It (the Train)" by The Quadcity D.J.'s
"Lovefool" by The Cardigans
"D.J.'s Girl" by Catarina
"Wanna be" by Spice Girls
"Dream Lover" by Jewel
Anything by Ace of Base
Coolest Picks
"New Pollution" by Beck
"Disappear" by Mazzy Star
"Sleep to Dream" by Fiona Apple
"Staring at the Sun" by U2
"Stormy Weather" by Ella Fitzgerald
"The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe
"It's a Fire" by Portishead
Anything by the Cure
Chit Chat
Clever remarks that are not necessarily true and entirely too exaggerated
Client explains university degrees: "The graduate with a Science degree asks, Why does it work?'. . . The graduate an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?' . . . The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" . . . The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?'"
Five Reasons Why Computers Must Be Female
5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for further
reference.
3. Native language used to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible
2. "Bad Command" or "Filename" is about as informative as "If you don't know
why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not telling you."
1. As soon as you commit to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck
on accessories for it.
Off The Wall Products
Unusual products that actually exist
For messy adults
portable wipes for messy adults
"Shout Wipes" work like baby wipes for clothes and have the portability of
hand wipes. It is one thing to be messy, it is another to readily admit to
it by carrying a pocket-size stain remover! (Not to mention how ridiculous
it must look!)
Cheap face lift
plastic surgery the cheapo way
"Secret Lift" is a cheap, at home face lift. It consists of adhesive tape
with an elastic band that fits around the face; the elastic blends with any
hair color. The advertisement reads, "ideal for weddings, reunions, photos,
Ôrunning into an ex' . . ." Who would buy this? I don't think I need
to comment on this one; the ad speaks for itself! (Woman's Day , March 4,
1997; p.61)
Do you have anything you'd like to add? E-mail The Bridge : journalism@tamiu.edu.
by Anita L. Guerra
A Mexican Chihuahua pet which turned out to be a rat?
Albino alligators in New York City sewers?
The professor who was trained by his students to lecture while standing on a wastebasket?
These are just three of the urban legends illustrated in The Big Book of Urban Legends. Having selected the most popular, humorous, outlandish, and horrific of these tales from Professor Jan Harold Brunvand's collection, the publishers of Paradox Press then hired graphic artists from the world of comic books to portray the urban legends in vivid black and white. But just what are urban legends?
Fantasy or fiction, true tales or fables, Honest-to-God occurrences or realistic mythsÑurban legends are those "true" stories that are just too good to be true. often times referred to as FOAFS, or friend-of-a-friend stories, urban legends are called that because they tend to be told and retold as having happened to a friend of a friend.
So if you've ever heard about a strange but seemingly true story that happened to a friend of a friend, chances are that what you've heard is most likely an urban legend.
These always outrageous, often graphic and horrific tales are fully realized in the comic book form utilized by The Big Book of Urban Legends. only through the visual depiction of these incidents can the extent of human folly, black humor, and high drama contained in these urban legends be expressed so clearly. Perusing through this book, a reader can easily see how these urban legends function as modern day equivalents of the fairy tales and legends of the past. Like mythic stories of the past, they reflect humankind's timeless need to tell tall tales.
The book also has two additional bonuses that make its purchase all the more worthwhile. The (very) brief biographies of the illustrators at the back of the book are a surprising delight and Professor Brunvand's introduction at the beginning is both breezy and instructional. Combined with the 200 hundred urban legends sandwiched in between them, these elements make the book a cover-to-cover must read.
The Big Book of Urban Legends is a big, bold book of grotesque spectacle and humor. Though illustrated at various times with a sense of whimsy to offset the urban legends' inherently dark humor, potential readers should nevertheless be given fair warning. This book is not for the faint-hearted- the illustrations that depict these urban legends are graphic both literally and figuratively. But, as the cover boasts, these "200 true stories too good to be true" are also too good to be missed.
The Big Book of Urban Legends (Paradox Press: 223 pages) sells for $12.95 and is adapted from the works of Jan Harold Brunvand by Robert Loren Fleming & Robert F. Boyd, Jr.